smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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