we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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