Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
There's always time for handjobs
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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