I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
