batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
