is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
