Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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