so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
