I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
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