I'm passing your future prison.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
