hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
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