I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
