This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
