I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
