I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
