We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
