it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize