i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
