a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
