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i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I think my moral compass just broke
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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