they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
