I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
