we have officially lost it.
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Is it penis luge time yet?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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