I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize