just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize