he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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