Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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