my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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