so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
