I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
