It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize