I don't think brook has ever known best
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
