I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
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Randomize
