So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
