Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
id be glad to
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
