First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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