well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
