I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
