Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
