Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
