i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
