So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
