This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
