A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
