After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
