There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
