this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
