Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
