I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
