really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I AM VODKA MAN
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize