I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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