Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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