: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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