He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
