Plan B is the new Plan A
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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