The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
