I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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