Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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