i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
