I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
