Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
there is glitter all over my balls
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
