Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Randomize
