Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
