This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
