Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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