My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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