Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Sober January is a disaster.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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