i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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