$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
