So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
