i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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