I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
