White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
