Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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