What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
