i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Randomize
