I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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