if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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