I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
