I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
